This question, posed by Jesus to the paralytic at the Bethesda pool in John 5:6, seems to have an obvious answer.

It does not.

Time and again, I glossed over this passage as an innocuous question in a broader story about the sabbath and the identity of Jesus. Time and again, I was blind to the most cutting of lessons in the New Testament.

But as He has done with me on more than one occasion, the Lord restored my vision. With a nudge from The Chosen (season 2, episode 4), my eyes were opened to yet another piercing question posed by Christ Jesus: “Do you want to be made well?” (see also: Who do you say that I am?)

At that moment, I was no longer oblivious to a distressing fact: For most of my adult life, I did not want to be made well.

The Bethesda pool was not the essential elixir sought by the paralytic, affording only a false hope of satisfaction. It became painfully evident that my personal “Bethesda pool” was filled with obsessions pursued in satiation of my own selfish appetites. As it turns out, such obsessions were also false, offering only passing fulfillment and a lusting that lingered.

Granted, I was not a paralytic – though I was indeed paralyzed by a fear of worldly irrelevance. Although I had sight, I was blind to who God is and what He has done for me. Despite an outward humility, I was sick with a pride that enslaved me to the pursuit of such false idols as status, wealth and triumph.

I did not want to be made well by the nearness and knowledge of God because I gloried in my ignorance.

Praise God, He lovingly used my weakness to lead me to dependence on His mercy and grace. I will share that testimony in this space in the future.

Though I still find myself in a perpetual battle with my pride and the sin that it engenders, I no longer find glory in ignorance. I want to be made well by Him.

Being made well starts with a knowledge of God and His love for His creation. Throughout scripture, God commands that we seek Him and know Him:

“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13

Now set your heart and your soul to seek the Lord your God.

1 Chronicles 22:19

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him.

Lamentations 3:25

Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with the whole heart!

Psalm 119:2

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Matthew 6:33

Why does God ask that we grow in our knowledge of Him? The answer to that question is quite simply this: You cannot love what you do not know. And the more you know of Him, the greater your love for Him.

Of course, God does not need our love; He has no needs. But He wants it (see also: Unveiling the Essence of Worship). Our love leads to obedience. Obedience, in turn, begets peace, joy and freedom. In other words, our love of God makes us well.

Many, Christians included, blindly pursue wealth, fame and other lusts. They do so because they do not seek God and obedience to His word. By opting for ignorance, they choose not to be made well. In this, I speak from experience.

And you…do you want to be made well?