Humility was once an admired trait within our culture. My parents frowned on overt celebrations of self that belied a sense of humility and denigrated others. We could rejoice in a good report card, but unrestrained reveling in the defeat of a competitor was unbefitting.

Of course, that was then. My youth was too many years ago. In today’s “taking-care-of-number-one” culture, the celebration of self is ever-present. It can be witnessed in unscrupulous business practices, the fracturing of the family, the viciousness of social media, trash talk on the playing field and pretty much anywhere else we choose to turn.

The Manifestation of Pride

My preferred definition of pride is of my own creation: It is the decayed fruit of an unquenchable craving for status among men and the abhorrent potentiality of relegation to irrelevancy. Of course, I recognize that in designating it as such I give further evidence of my own egotism.

Nonetheless, this characterization provides a good framing for the purposes of this discussion. For that is how pride manifests, is it not – as a craving for status and/or the fear of its absence? Here I speak from experience.

C. S. Lewis said concerning pride, “There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves the more we dislike it in others.”

GUILTY!

Pride has not only been the most egregious of my many sins, I would argue that it is at the root of ALL sin. It threatens our relationship with God, obscuring the lines between obedience to His word and idolatry.

Prior to my rebirth in Christ more than a decade ago, I would always answer in the affirmative when asked if I was a Christian. But, honestly, I wasn’t asked much. I suspect that those in my orbit observed my un-Christian behavior and drew their own conclusions. I believe I was considered a moderately generous person by most – one of good character and high integrity. Behind the curtain, however, was a much more complicated story.

In Colossians 3:5 the Apostle Paul describes idolatry as “covetousness.” I coveted. My idols included money, a big house, professional accolades and other fleshly pursuits. Worse still, my covetousness was not about making my family’s life more comfortable and enjoyable. Instead, it was about my pride – my desire for status among peers and my fear of being irrelevant to them.

What is “Good?”

I was like many today who are considered “good” by others – and by themselves. Ultimately, that is what many aspire to: goodness, as defined by their peers and this world, because that satisfies the self.

The Russian poet Ivan Turgenev had us all in mind when he said, “I do not know what the heart of a bad man is like, but I do know what the heart of a good man is like, and it is terrible.”

Although he is considered to have been agnostic, Turgenev’s words echo those of the Lord to the prophet Jeremiah:

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” (Jeremiah 17:9)

Such hearts often deny the existence of God. Others, like mine, may not overtly deny their Christianity – but their lack of obedience to God’s word betrays their declarations of “goodness.”

My personal claims of virtuousness eventually ran hollow. I was not content in the blessings of a beautiful family, a nice house and professional accomplishment. My ego dictated that there was always more to get – there was always a hole to fill. The “decayed fruit” that my life was producing took a massive toll on my wellbeing, and that of my family.

I was too proud, however, to confront these circumstances by turning to God. That would reflect a dependence on Him rather than on myself.

Saved by His Grace

I would like to say that I eventually figured it out. To do so, however, would diminish the grace Christ displayed in my life. Instead of watching me flail about seeking to foolishly resolve my own trials, He graciously stepped in – putting me in a box where my only escape was through, and with, Him.

He led me out – out of the box, out of darkness – and into His presence. Whereas the notion of being led by the Holy Spirit had previously sounded like a fairy tale to my walled, self-centered heart, Christ broke down those barriers as forcefully as the temple veil was torn upon His crucifixion.

Today, I find joy and peace in the knowledge that whatever I know, whatever I have and whatever I achieve is from Him. It is not of my doing and, thus, I have nothing of which to be proud. I strive to remain humble in light of what Christ, as the ultimate role model, has done for me on the cross. Of course, I’m not always successful. After all, I’m only human.

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” (Philippians 2:5-8)